I did it. I joined the circus and it was just as amazing as I thought it would be! It's taken me a while to write this blog but that wasn't because the circus experience wasn't brilliant but because I had other things going on. A huge huge thank you to all at Circus Space for making my dream come true.
My circus day was fantastic. I set off from home nice and early, drove to Worcester Park, caught a train and changed to a tube. I thought I had planned my journey perfectly but had forgotten the Northern line split and the branch I needed wasn't at this station. A slight panic and a rethink of journey and I was soon on my way. I had directions from the tube station and it was only a short walk to Circus Space.
My heart was in my mouth when I walked into the building but the reception desk was full of smiling faces. I filled in the form I was given and looked around to see who else was on my course. The place was full of people so it was difficult to tell. I had been given instructions on lockers and where to wait but the panic started again. Luckily 2 women arrived who were also on my course. I tried to strike up a conversation but they were clearly there together and didn't need an extra person. I sort of stalked them to the lockers and the waiting area. As long as they were in sight I wouldn't get lost!
It wasn't long before our trainer came to collect us and take us to the first room. There was a trampoline and bits and pieces in the room but our first thing was to warm up. I looked around the room and found most people were there with somebody, were younger than me and all were carrying less weight. I thought this would make me feel awkward but it didn't.
The first part of circus training was the warm up. We needed to warm up body and mind which sounded very energetic and proved to be just that. We were soon running around the room jumping in the air when told to go down and squatting when told to go up. I thought it was going to show just how much older and unfit I was but I held my own.
Now the first skill for the day was the static trapeze. At last I had the chance to live my childhood dream. OK it wasn't the flying trapeze but it was a trapeze. We went off to another room and lined up. There were 2 trapezes,one higher than the other and another lovely instructor started to tell us what we were going to do. It was advised that we used the low trapeze over the crash mat so that she could help. She showed us how to throw our legs up to get on in the first place and I could see my first hurdle!
I was someway down the queue so had time to watch others. The men in the group decided to use the higher trapeze as did the 2 women who had arrived at the same time as me. I knew I would never manage that. I wasn't sure I would manage the low one! Luckily another girl was before me and chose the low trapeze. She failed to get on it first time and I was secretly pleased. On my turn it took 2 attempts to pull myself up. The instructor was very good and gave advice without patronising the fat old bird. In fact fat old bird thoughts did go through my mind. There was the panic I wouldn't be strong enough to pull myself up, that I would fart as I swung my legs or worse have a tenna lady moment! None of these things happened!
The first position was the gazelle. I know I didn't look like a young gazelle but I sat on the trapeze, pointed my legs in one direction and my arm in the other and felt the part. The second time we had to hang by our legs from the trapeze and at that moment I was living the dream. The third time we had to stand on the trapeze and then hang down. I can not explain just how happy and exhilarated I felt. I know I didn't look like the picture in my head but I had fun. I didn't care about my size or my age or the fact I was on my own as I was that circus performer I had dreamed of being.
The static trapeze was over all too soon and we returned to the first room. Diabolo training came next. I had played with a diabolo before but other than getting it spinning I hadn't managed any tricks. We were shown several different things from throwing and catching it to skipping whilst it was in the air. Others were much better than me but I did succeed in throwing and catching so was really pleased.
A short break came next and that's when I noticed being on my own. Everybody scattered and I was a little lost. We all came back for unicycle training. I have a great respect for those who can unicycle. I have my own but have never managed. I still can't unicycle. I don't think any of us managed . We did work in small groups of similar height for this and so I did pair up with 2 girls. They were half my age, half my dress size and half my weight but we had a laugh and worked together.
The final discipline of the morning was stilt walking. I had never really thought about this before but soon discovered it was to be one of the scariest things I have ever done. To start we had to get into pairs so I was with the lovely young Claire. I let her go first on the stilts. Before we could put stilts on we had to practice falling on to a crash mat. Then she had to sit on what appeared to be an old gym horse whilst I helped strap the stilts on her. Once on she had to hold my hands and stand up without leaning forward or putting feet back, walk to the mat and fall over. Once fallen it was a crawl back to the box to get back up and start walking around the room with your partner for support. It looked fun but that was a little misleading!
Soon it was my turn. My first problem came in trying to stand up! I couldn't even get up off the box properly. The lovely instructor explained what to do and I was soon on my feet, only to go to the crash mat to fall over. I crawled back to the box and struggled back up. Claire was fantastic at helping and saying encouraging things and I began to walk around the room. I hadn't thought about how high I was until then or how scared of heights. The fear clearly showed on my face. Then came a slight trip and the biggest shock of the day. I tripped and yelled out "Mummy". I gave an embarrassed giggle, apologised and carried on walking. Another slight trip and another yell of mummy left me almost in tears. The third time I looked at Claire and explained my mum had been dead for 16 years so calling for her was a little bit unnerving! I was so scared I couldn't stop myself calling out. The trainer suggested I had a rest as it was hard work but I knew if I sat down I wouldn't get back up off the box so kept going. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it but I enjoyed the challenge and overcame my fear.
Lunch was next and again everybody scattered. I went to the cafe across the road and had a pot of tea. After lunch some new people joined us and some others left as they had only booked a half day course. The afternoon started with the horrible warm up which those of us from the morning halfheartedly joined in.
My circus day was fantastic. I set off from home nice and early, drove to Worcester Park, caught a train and changed to a tube. I thought I had planned my journey perfectly but had forgotten the Northern line split and the branch I needed wasn't at this station. A slight panic and a rethink of journey and I was soon on my way. I had directions from the tube station and it was only a short walk to Circus Space.
My heart was in my mouth when I walked into the building but the reception desk was full of smiling faces. I filled in the form I was given and looked around to see who else was on my course. The place was full of people so it was difficult to tell. I had been given instructions on lockers and where to wait but the panic started again. Luckily 2 women arrived who were also on my course. I tried to strike up a conversation but they were clearly there together and didn't need an extra person. I sort of stalked them to the lockers and the waiting area. As long as they were in sight I wouldn't get lost!
It wasn't long before our trainer came to collect us and take us to the first room. There was a trampoline and bits and pieces in the room but our first thing was to warm up. I looked around the room and found most people were there with somebody, were younger than me and all were carrying less weight. I thought this would make me feel awkward but it didn't.
The first part of circus training was the warm up. We needed to warm up body and mind which sounded very energetic and proved to be just that. We were soon running around the room jumping in the air when told to go down and squatting when told to go up. I thought it was going to show just how much older and unfit I was but I held my own.
Now the first skill for the day was the static trapeze. At last I had the chance to live my childhood dream. OK it wasn't the flying trapeze but it was a trapeze. We went off to another room and lined up. There were 2 trapezes,one higher than the other and another lovely instructor started to tell us what we were going to do. It was advised that we used the low trapeze over the crash mat so that she could help. She showed us how to throw our legs up to get on in the first place and I could see my first hurdle!
I was someway down the queue so had time to watch others. The men in the group decided to use the higher trapeze as did the 2 women who had arrived at the same time as me. I knew I would never manage that. I wasn't sure I would manage the low one! Luckily another girl was before me and chose the low trapeze. She failed to get on it first time and I was secretly pleased. On my turn it took 2 attempts to pull myself up. The instructor was very good and gave advice without patronising the fat old bird. In fact fat old bird thoughts did go through my mind. There was the panic I wouldn't be strong enough to pull myself up, that I would fart as I swung my legs or worse have a tenna lady moment! None of these things happened!
The first position was the gazelle. I know I didn't look like a young gazelle but I sat on the trapeze, pointed my legs in one direction and my arm in the other and felt the part. The second time we had to hang by our legs from the trapeze and at that moment I was living the dream. The third time we had to stand on the trapeze and then hang down. I can not explain just how happy and exhilarated I felt. I know I didn't look like the picture in my head but I had fun. I didn't care about my size or my age or the fact I was on my own as I was that circus performer I had dreamed of being.
The static trapeze was over all too soon and we returned to the first room. Diabolo training came next. I had played with a diabolo before but other than getting it spinning I hadn't managed any tricks. We were shown several different things from throwing and catching it to skipping whilst it was in the air. Others were much better than me but I did succeed in throwing and catching so was really pleased.
A short break came next and that's when I noticed being on my own. Everybody scattered and I was a little lost. We all came back for unicycle training. I have a great respect for those who can unicycle. I have my own but have never managed. I still can't unicycle. I don't think any of us managed . We did work in small groups of similar height for this and so I did pair up with 2 girls. They were half my age, half my dress size and half my weight but we had a laugh and worked together.
The final discipline of the morning was stilt walking. I had never really thought about this before but soon discovered it was to be one of the scariest things I have ever done. To start we had to get into pairs so I was with the lovely young Claire. I let her go first on the stilts. Before we could put stilts on we had to practice falling on to a crash mat. Then she had to sit on what appeared to be an old gym horse whilst I helped strap the stilts on her. Once on she had to hold my hands and stand up without leaning forward or putting feet back, walk to the mat and fall over. Once fallen it was a crawl back to the box to get back up and start walking around the room with your partner for support. It looked fun but that was a little misleading!
Soon it was my turn. My first problem came in trying to stand up! I couldn't even get up off the box properly. The lovely instructor explained what to do and I was soon on my feet, only to go to the crash mat to fall over. I crawled back to the box and struggled back up. Claire was fantastic at helping and saying encouraging things and I began to walk around the room. I hadn't thought about how high I was until then or how scared of heights. The fear clearly showed on my face. Then came a slight trip and the biggest shock of the day. I tripped and yelled out "Mummy". I gave an embarrassed giggle, apologised and carried on walking. Another slight trip and another yell of mummy left me almost in tears. The third time I looked at Claire and explained my mum had been dead for 16 years so calling for her was a little bit unnerving! I was so scared I couldn't stop myself calling out. The trainer suggested I had a rest as it was hard work but I knew if I sat down I wouldn't get back up off the box so kept going. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it but I enjoyed the challenge and overcame my fear.
Lunch was next and again everybody scattered. I went to the cafe across the road and had a pot of tea. After lunch some new people joined us and some others left as they had only booked a half day course. The afternoon started with the horrible warm up which those of us from the morning halfheartedly joined in.
The first discipline of the afternoon was the tight wire. First we had to change in to ballet shoes and line up. I was paired with a new lady and we took it in turns to hold the supporting stick and walk on the wire. I didn't think I would enjoy this but really did. I wasn't very good which was the general theme for the day but I had such fun that my ability didn't matter.
After the tight wire came the thing I had been waiting for all these years. I stood there thinking of somersaults and cheers and then watching and wondering how on earth I was going to even get up the ladder! Heights and I have never gone well together. To start I had to climb the straight up ladder. By the time I reached the top I had the shivers and my nervous noise had started. I stepped on to the platform and wrapped my leg round as instructed. I reached out and supported the trapeze for the person in front of me. All that was holding me on was my leg! Then I had to unhook and stand in the middle of the platform whilst the harness was attached. Minor problems knowing left from right caused a slight delay! It was my turn to go. I had listened to the instructions so knew I had to lead with my feet but I couldn't work out how to do that so just leant forward and went. After all those years I was flying. Actually it felt more like falling! I had listened to how to swing my legs and not bend them but all that went out the window. I knew I had to let go when told to so I would be in the right place but my hands started slipping. I told the trainer I was losing grip so she said to let go on the count of three. 1, 2, 3, LET GO! No! I couldn't let go. I was slipping but I couldn't let go as that was just as scary. On the second count down I let go and landed in a crumpled blob on the mat. It wasn't how I had pictured it at all. I was slightly cross with myself and determined to get it right the next turn. Well my next turn I did lead with my feet but still got the swing rhythm wrong and still couldn't let go. My dismount was even more of a crash than the first but I loved every second.
I was on such a high from the trapeze that the fact I couldn't juggle didn't bother me at all. I can remember very little of the juggling section as I was still on that trapeze in my head!
The last part of the day was the team balancing. Again I was partnered with the 2 young girls from unicycling. I enjoyed being on the bottom of the pyramid and the balancing bits but became acutely aware of my size when I had to stand on the other 2. I was very pleased when it came to the large human pyramid that I was on the second level and not on the top.
The day came to an end and we all went our separate ways. I made my way back to the tube and the train and finally the car. The next morning I was covered in bruises and ached all over. The day after that the swelling round my ankles and my knees where the stilts had been strapped made it almost impossible to walk. You could see the strap marks in my bruises. I didn't care though. In fact I showed my bruises off with pride and couldn't wait to tell people why I couldn't walk.
If you ever get the chance to visit Circus Space you should definitely do it. If I lived nearer I would have joined the aerial classes. I will go again but next time I will take friends with me so that we can share the stories together. I practice tight wire at the beach on the breakwaters and I swing from the tree outside. My favourite though was the static trapeze and if I can find a way of practicing that I will!
